Dating a Cat
by Deme.P
Summary: Antonio spends a lot of time online and has found some things that ring true for his boyfriend. Human names used, being nations mentioned.


A/N: I don't own Hetalia. Hidekazu Himaruya owns it. Enjoy this fic!

I am dating a cat.

It may sound strange but by the 10 examples I have found online mi novio*, Lovi~, is a cat.

Example 1: "Cats only eat the best"

My Lovi~ has such high standards for the food we eat. The fruits and vegetables must be fresh, the meats must be cooked just so and the wines he likes are so specific I'm surprised he hasn't gone out to the vineyards to hand pick the grapes.

Example 2: "Cats don't do walks"

Lovi~ runs really fast when he's confronted by Arthur, Francis or almost any German , but when it comes to just relaxing and talking a peaceful walk through the park with me he doesn't seem to have any interest to get out of bed let alone the house. He would much rather sit on the couch or lay in bed. But on the rare occasion I actually did get Lovi~ up and out for a walk, he ends up having me buy him a bunch of food afterwards. Oh well at least my Lovi~ is with me!

Example 3: "Cats express affection with head bonks"

I remember raising Lovi~ back when he was just a little nation. Era tan lindo!* Every time I would leave to visit my other colonies, he would act so tough trying to make me think that he was going to be better off without me, but when I would come back he would always come running. Albeit he ran into me head first and right into the stomach, but I knew he missed me a lot. He would always let me hug him just a little more when I had been gone for a long time. It was really nice, then things would go back to normal, except then I'd have bruise on my stomach from his head, but I knew that he really did care for me.

Example 4: "Cats don't do mornings"

Lovi~ and mornings get along as well as cats and birds (speaking of which… Lovi~ and Gilbird don't get along that well either. Just another reason Lovi~ is a cat!). On days where we have World meetings, it's so hard to get him up. He burrows himself deep in the bed, I really have to drag him out (he's so cute! ) by his ankles and then run for my life cause he doesn't like it when I do that. But I hide and sneak-attack hug him! I give him a quick kiss and he calms down a bit (or as much as Lovi~ ever calms down). Even after he is out of bed, he drags himself around the house; waiting for breakfast, or for me to drive to the meeting. He's so cute in the mornings; it's much easier to get a hug from mi pequeno tomate*. He doesn't fight as much in the mornings, but once he's fully awake it's back to normal.

Example 5: "Cats conform to their containers"

When I sleep my body tends to go all over the place, with an arm over Lovi~ the other hanging off the bed. One leg under the blanket the other tangled in it, but even with my body splayed all over the place, Lovi~ still finds a way a way to stay completely on the bed. He's often curled up next to me… Que Lindo*!

Example 6: "Cats love to sleep anywhere and everywhere"

This one definitely rings true with Lovi~.

One time we went to the beach with Feli, Ludwig, Gilbert, Francis and Kiku. Gil, Frannie and I had built the most amazing sand castle ever! I ran to get Lovi~ to show him our masterpiece, and found him asleep under a beach umbrella, even with Feli crying as Ludwig and Kiku tried to help him with his jellyfish sting. (He got up a moment later pushed the 'potato bastard' out of his way as he helped his hermanito*)

Then there was this other time when we were all invited to Alfred's place to watch some new movie of his. It was one of those IMAX theaters where the theaters where the speakers are so loud that the seats rumble. I don't remember much about the movie except it was about NASCAR, and extremely loud. When the movie was over I turned to Lovi~ to find him fast asleep in his seat.

Example 7: "Cats will never sleep with someone they don't love"

One day Lovi and I got stranded at Francis' place and our car died in a snow storm. I ran down to the auto parts store to get the stuff I needed to fix the car so we could get home. It took me a while to walk to the store and by the time I found the part the storm had blocked the door and I was trapped in the store until the owner could shovel out some snow. I called Lovi~ and told him to stay at Francis' till I got back. It was well past midnight when I was finally able to get back and I found Lovi~ snuggled up on the sofa a fire poker in hand. I went to Francis' room and found him beaten up on the floor. He said that he had gone to another room and found Lovi~ asleep on the couch and carried him up to the bed and when Lovi~ turned and found himself lying next to Francis' he screamed, ranted and kicked Francis' ass. He then ran downstairs and armed himself with a poker. Francis' said that Lovi~ was ranting about only sleeping with those close to him and there was no way in hell that Francis' would ever make that list. I'm so happy to be on it! It's fun to sleep with Lovi~! He's so warm.

Example 8: "Cats are like girls. If they come and talk to you, it's great, but if you try to talk to them it doesn't always go so well"

Lovi~ isn't a girl, trust me I know that ;), but this is also true. Whenever I call Lovi~, he always yells, and fights with me and if it's in person, I will mostly likely be hit. So not so good, but when Lovi~ calls…it's magic. He's nice (or at least as nice as he can get), and loving and it's amazing and always ends up in a good place ;).

Example 9: "Cats in the mafia"

I'm positive that my Lovi~ is a mafia boss. He will go out for a 'meeting with fratello' and will come home with all sorts of cuts and one time he even came home with his arm bandaged…he had been shot. I was going to go after the man who dared to hurt my Lovi~ with my axe but Lovi~ wouldn't let me . He also has lots of money, which seems to come from nowhere, he also spends a lot of time cleaning his guns and having hushed conversations in Italian. I just hope that if my Lovi~ is in the mafia that he never gets seriously injured, I don't think that I my axe should be used too much it is pretty old after all.

Example 10: "Cats are Ninjas"

It's true; Lovi~ has amazing flexibility and stuff. One time we had climbed a tree and were watching the sunset, and I fell out of the tree. I'm really clumsy sometimes, heh heh. When I hit the ground Lovi~ jumped out of the tree and landed on his feet right next to me. Awwww! Lovi~ was worried I had gotten hurt. He also scares me a lot when I'm working on stuff for my boss. I'll be really focused on the papers in front of me, and he'll just come and whisper in my ear "…Antonio…" I jump out of my chair, trip on it and end up on the floor. I see that it's just him and we both start laughing. I love it when he laughs… it's so cute! .

So I am positive that Lovi~ is cat. I know it's weird to think this way, but I don't care gatos* are cute and so is my Lovi~.

~~The end~~

A/N:

*=Translations:

Mi novio=my boyfriend

Era tan lindo! =He was so cute!

Pequeno tomate= little tomato

Que Lindo! =So cute!

Hermanito=Little brother

Gatos=cats

I came up with this idea when I was looking at LOLcats, and I as I thought about it Lovino fit all of them. So now Antonio knows that he is dating a 'cat'. Yeah, this probably sucks a lot but if you did like it please review. Tell me what you liked and didn't. Flames will be used to make pasta for Feli's lunch.


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